Comfort
by jmmy
Summary: Latenight musings. Rated for sexual references I don't think it's too bad though. I'm not telling you the characters, you'll have to guess. And it's not too angsty, no tissues required.


Disclaimer: NOT MINE! Do I really need to go into more detail than that?

Summary: Late-night musings.

Pairings: Well, that would spoil it for you!

A/N: This is not my normal ship, hence why this is not a happy, fluffy, life is a bed of roses fic. But it is by no means dark, so read on. Please. And then press the little review button at the bottom? You know you want to...

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She rolled over, shivering. He hogged the blankets, and always had. She used to try and get them back; kicking him, pulling at them, even trying to snuggle up against him, but it was futile. After years of trying, she had given in, and would simply wear warmer clothes to bed. It wasn't like she bothered to dress sexily for him anymore, anyway. In the first year or so, she had worn all sorts of skimpy outfits, little negligees and the like. But after three years, the novelty had begun to wear off. The sex was still good, but they had lost the urgency they once had. She supposed part of that was because the 'forbidden' allure had worn off. No-one knew, but that didn't mean the thought of them finding out still held the dangerous excitement that it once had. She used to spend her time worrying about what would happen if they got caught – especially the reactions of her team-mates. Would they be supportive? She knew Teal'c would, but HE wouldn't. Oh sure, he would smile, nod and say he was happy for them, but she knew inside that it would break him. And, to be honest, she thought it would probably break her as well. 

She wasn't in love with the man lying next to her, not by a long shot. She loved him, but something that had begun as simple passion and lust had eroded into a comfort factor – something where both parties gained something previously missing from their lives, something that enabled them to work through the terrors they endured as a regular part of every day life. Originally, this need had been only about sex, about wild animal fucking. It still was, but the wild passion had over time been replaced with a need for comfort. The sex became familiar, something they could cling to. It was… mundane. But it served its purpose, and the affection was genuine even if it stemmed from friendship.

She had begun to stay over about 6 months in. It was easier, and no-one paid any attention to them coming in together. In fact, they were both in so early in the morning that she figured they would have to be glued together at the mouth for anyone to notice anything. Plus, no-one really suspected anything, they all subconsciously knew about HIM and HER and therefore her real relationship, with a different him, was ignored. They all expected her to end up with HIM, not him. Not that she knew how that would be possible. She loved HIM, but she couldn't … no, wouldn't…

He snored as well, she thought, as she got up to retrieve the blanket from the spare room. She supposed it was probably his allergies – didn't they make you snore? It wasn't loud, but it was persistent, and it grated on her nerves on nights like this. She lay back down, cocooning herself in the blanket so he wouldn't inadvertently snatch it from her. She guessed that this was it, now. A life-time of blanket stealing and snoring? Huh, not likely. She knew that eventually she would have to break it off. But to be honest, a lifetime of loneliness was a lot less appealing. She supposed that was why she stuck around, probably the same for him. She knew she awarded him a small level of comfort after _her_ death. Afterwards, he had become a different person, and he had needed her. But now, it had been three and a half years. And the comfort she offered him became just that, comfort. Not a response to a desperate outreach, or to a needy hand reaching for salvation. Just a shoulder to lean on occasionally, no more. And he was now just a pair of arms, that when she closed her eyes was replaced by another pair. Another pair of eyes, a different voice, a different touch. And she knew that he knew, he just never said anything. He knew that she dreamed of someone else, and she figured that often, he dreamed about _her_, not her.

She supposed it was easier to feign ignorance that accept defeat, to mangle an old saying. And it was easier for her to put of with his snoring and blanket stealing than admit that the man that lay next to her were not the man she wished him to be. She loved him, she really did. And she knew that as much as she wished, she'd never have HIM, at least not in the way she wanted. She knew that eventually, things would change. One of them would move on, retire or something, and she would be free from having to settle. Because that was what she had done, settled. And she knew that one day, she would have to move past that.

But until then, until she could finally be with Jack, she could do a lot worse than 'settle' for Daniel, snoring blanket-stealer that he was. And Sam rolled over, within her blanket cocoon, and for the first time that night, fell asleep.

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P.S. The HIM in caps refers to Jack, and the _her _in italics can refer to either Sha're or Janet Frasier or any other of Daniel's gals you wish. Just to avoid confusion. :D 


End file.
